{"id":1134,"date":"2018-07-31T16:16:38","date_gmt":"2018-07-31T12:46:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thefibro-lupusbutterfly.com\/?p=1134"},"modified":"2018-07-31T16:28:26","modified_gmt":"2018-07-31T12:58:26","slug":"this-the-day-which-the-lord-hath-made","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thefibro-lupusbutterfly.com\/?p=1134","title":{"rendered":"This the Day which the Lord Hath Made"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I live in the country.. I love the country! All the privacy, beautiful landscape&#8230;we even have an apple orchard and a pond&#8230;it&#8217;s lovely.<\/p>\n<p>However, if I have to grocery shop, it&#8217;s easily a twenty to thirty minute drive. If I need other things, it takes longer.<\/p>\n<p>All that driving to town never bothered me before I got sick. I mean, I just planned the day to shop for whatever was needed and off I went!<\/p>\n<p>And then I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.<\/p>\n<p>Now, there is no PLANNING because I NEVER know what a day is going to be like for me <i>physically<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>There is NO anything. What I mean by that is my life has been turned upside down with pain and physical limitations.<\/p>\n<p>I miss the &#8220;old&#8221; days. I miss my old self.<\/p>\n<p><em>-here is some insider personality info-<\/em><\/p>\n<p>My Italian lineage causes me to use my <i>entire <\/i>being when I talk (animated, hands waving, whole body conversations). Subsequently and due to the pain of being &#8220;me&#8221;, I have learned to &#8220;tone it down&#8221; by just not talking as much or answering with as few words as possible.<\/p>\n<p>On the rare occasions that this side of me comes out, I become keenly aware of the pain as my arms begin to flail and my hands go a mile a minute.<\/p>\n<p>The pain is horrific.<\/p>\n<p>People equate me to my animated personality and when I speak in a mellow fashion, they immediately ask &#8220;Are you feeling okay?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Loaded question.<\/p>\n<p>Am I okay?<\/p>\n<p>Well now, do I want to be the type of person who <i>really<\/i> says how I feel knowing that person will never ask again?<\/p>\n<p>No, I don&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>So instead I just smile and say, &#8220;Why yes&#8230;I&#8217;m feeling fine.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><i>FINE&#8230;<\/i>what does that even mean?<\/p>\n<p>I like to be jumpy for my kids. I have ten of them, six still at home, and the first half of them remember a completely different Momma.<\/p>\n<p>The older ones still here and going to college, have seen what Fibro has done to me. They had to get used to the new me just as I have.<\/p>\n<p>The younger ones think when I get all animated that &#8220;Something must be wrong with Mom.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Taking pain meds brings out my older self so the ones who know me best know I must be &#8220;on&#8221; something to be acting like that.<\/p>\n<p><em>-end of insider personality info-<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I miss me. The old me.<\/p>\n<p>I struggle daily with acceptance and denial. Sometimes I have &#8220;got this&#8221; and other times I just want to curl up and wish it away.<\/p>\n<p>Being creative helps me keep my mind off the pain. But I pay for it later. Like, cannot move later. *<a href=\"http:\/\/thepersistentbutterfly.apps-1and1.com\/2018\/07\/26\/home-school-desk-dividers\/\">click here for my latest creative thought.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a vicious cycle.<\/p>\n<p>I would not change where I live for anything. Hearing the birds and seeing the beauty God designed brings me comfort and peace.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, driving hurts me. Yes, I drive more often than I want to and even drive on BAD pain days. Mainly because my dear husband receives blood transfusions about every nine-ten days and we drive over an hour to the city for his bone cancer conditon. (We both got a health whammy within a few years while still in our 40&#8217;s&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p>I will always be there for him, pain or not!!<\/p>\n<p>My life around me still goes on. It still makes me smile, it still gets me through and it still brings me love. That is a <i>gift. <\/i><\/p>\n<p>So here is to today!<\/p>\n<p>Rain or shine&#8230;zombified or not&#8230;.road kill and left for dead&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><i>&#8220;This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it!&#8221;<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Blessings and gentle hugs-<\/p>\n<p>~The Fibro Momma of Ten<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>trying the best to be the you you are now with Fibromyalgia <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[10],"class_list":["post-1134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-living-with-fibro","without-featured-image"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - 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