We don’t complain. Our facial expressions have been programmed to smile through the pain…We are up doing our best, unnoticed by most, except a few close people who really know.<\/em> <\/p>\n Fibromyalgia and Lupus sufferers are called WARRIORS for a reason, because we arm ourselves for battle and do our best to fight the foe of PAIN. <\/p>\n We wake up hurting, go to bed hurting and everything in-between. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If we express a difficulty, said people, as described above, look shocked that we would even ask for help. let alone that we are no longer “doing.” The look they give is like “Oh, please. You don’t feel THAT bad,” as they think, “At least, not as bad as I do.”<\/em><\/p>\n I once sat with an in-law at a restaurant and was asked how I was doing. I responded that I was doing well. I was pressed with “How was I really?” <\/em>and had to respond.<\/p>\n Thinking I had a kind, compassionate ear from someone who seemed<\/em> to genuinely care, I let my guard down…<\/p>\n I said that “I really was fine-right then.” I was pressed further, so I began talking about how driving, sitting, shopping, etc. wear me out and once I get home, my body will retaliate and the effects could last a couple of days. I went on to add that I was very happy to be visiting, and this was just my life now; I had grown used to it and had learned to pace myself, give myself rest times, and how I have learned to plan for days of rest after a visit like this one.<\/p>\n Well… through my family gossip chain, I learned that this person was telling others that what I had actually said was how I had wished I had not driven to the restaurant or gone shopping and that the whole time I had complained about how I would feel once I got home.<\/em><\/p>\n Seriously? <\/p>\n Needless to say, it marred my memory of the visit, as I had enjoyed myself, and thought the other person had, too.<\/p>\n I can tell you this, the next time I am asked, “How are you really?” I will NOT answer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n My stubborn personality makes me stay on my feet when people visit, mainly because I don’t want to be asked “Are you okay? I see you are sitting.” Because sitting was never something I did and anyone who knows me, knew that. Also, because now, sitting hurts me, and therefore I need to keep moving. Regardless of how I feel, I try to keep up the front of “normal.” <\/p>\n One pet peeve of mine is when a healthy, complaining-type personality visits, and all they do is sit and chatter, or worse, scroll, with the lazy expectation that they will be served.<\/p>\n If I sit for any reason, even to visit with them, I undoubtedly will hear is “Oh, you’re sitting? Why do you need to rest? I mean, you haven’t dealt with what I have…” <\/p>\n So, sitting when people are over isn’t worth that to me. Not to mention, that IF I do sit, getting up is a challenge and more critiquing will follow, like I really could not be in THAT much pain. <\/p>\n We cannot choose our family or who our children marry, but we can do our best to stay calm and not get our feathers ruffled. <\/p>\n When I master that one, I will be sure to let y’all know. <\/p>\n I am a WARRIOR!! YOU are a WARRIOR!<\/p>\n I have Jesus by my side and that is all that matters! Do you??<\/p>\n Take Care-<\/p>\n The Fibro-Lupus Momma of Ten<\/p>\nIt is almost like we are NOT ALLOWED to express what we feel; Like we are held to a higher standard or something. <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I sincerely thought I was in a safe family zone… <\/h3>\n
Well, I DID<\/em> let my guard down… <\/h3>\n
Toxic people are… well, toxic<\/em>. Sometimes they are relatives and that is hard to deal with. <\/h3>\n
In the meantime, remember that the word warrior means-<\/h3>\n
“Someone who displays extreme courage, vigor, or toughness when facing hard times, in sickness or daily life.”<\/h3>\n
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