If you live in the United States, then this July you will undoubtedly be celebrating the 250th Birthday of that country.
I live in the great U.S. of A. and a huge celebration will be held at our home with 7 of our ten children and their families all arriving and staying through the night to watch the fireworks display that our Marine son will be showing off for us. Last count, 22 blessings will here!
As a sufferer of chronic pain, with Fibromyalgia and Lupus leading the pack, I know what a gathering of that size can do my body. I also know the repercussions that will inevitably happen to me in the days that follow.
Does that mean I am not looking forward to the celebration and festivities? The visiting with my grandchildren, children and their spouses? All the hustle and bustle and never-ending chatter and noise???? The dishes and messes? Yes… but the latter is just a part of life… but what I am NOT looking forward to is the continuous pain from not being able to rest and the aftermath of pain that will undoubtedly leave me down for at least 2 days afterward.
My body cannot do busy anymore. It cannot do active for hours on end. It can no longer sit or even stand for long periods of time without a great deal of pain.
This weekend, I will put my best foot forward, smile and (do my best to) move slow, but yet, deliberate. I will escape to rest as much as I possibly can and hope no one misses me longer than 20 minutes so I can at least get 20 minutes of rest in. But undoubtably, someone will be yelling “Where’s Mom?” and come find me within 10 minutes… ha-ha
It is a dangerous thing, disappearing. Someone ALWAYS seems to need you as soon as you vanish.
I have already begun preparing for the day’s festivities and trying to rest in-between. I get overwhelmed easily these days, so I MUST stay calm. My planner personality has retreated and has been replaced with a different version; a version that has to be more spontaneous and flexible because my pain levels can no longer do plans. A version I am still getting to know and one I am not sure I like. But, alas, this is the new me. The me who lives in constant spinal, joint and hip pain. The one whose joints hurt everywhere, including each toe and finger. The one who still plugs along smiling and doing, crying and sobbling behind closed doors-not from depression, mind you. But from the never-ending battle of PAIN and trying to look normal. It takes its toll.
It is a rough business being this version of me. It wears me out, wears me down, and hurts me continuously.
So, Happy 250th Birthday, America! May ya’ll manage your pain and enjoy the festivities! I pray the sound of fireworks doesn’t cause you too much pain.
