Yesterday I did a thing and today I feel the affects of it.

Did I know when I set out to drive 1.5 hours (each way) to visit my grandkiddos yesterday that I would feel completely run over today? Well, yes and no.

Yes, because ever since Fibromyalgia entered the scene for me, driving became difficult. Or rather, the repercussions from the driving became difficult. Once Lupus showed its appearance, driving became almost unbearable.

No, because I always want to have the hope that it won’t happen, even though I know that hope is likely in vain.

Today I awoke as if run over by the very car that I drove…

It is never a good feeling… waking up and left for road kill. Some people reading this who don’t suffer from these conditions, might say “Oh, I feel that way in the mornings…” or “I know how you feel.” God help you if you end up with Fibromyalgia and/or Lupus because even if you think you “know” you wouldn’t know how to survive until you know. I mean, you truly wouldn’t based on what you think you know now.

Lupus and Fibromyalgia sufferers are a strong people. We have to be.

If someone were to walk even an hour in our shoes they would wonder how we were walking at all.

This is not being overly dramatic. This is trying to explain just how awful these conditions make a person feel. That burning, aching, worn-out, exhausted feeling all.day.long.

You may have heard it said that to even come close to understanding how these conditions make a person feel, is to imagine that you have the flu-with extreme body aches, nausea, (maybe diarrhea), overwhelming fatigue, possibility a fever, and the inability to get out of bed. It’s like that for a suffer every day.

… Except that we do get up out of bed and we do try to live life, all while feeling like we have the flu. Sure, we have a smile on our face. That’s because it’s the right thing to do and it makes us feel cheerier, but what you don’t see behind the scene is the struggle. Fibromyalgia and Lupus Warriors have learned how to put on a strong front. We have to. We are at the front of the line! The arrows and the flaming darts are all aiming at us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

It’s a rough way to live.

So here I am, feeling like the Coyote underneath the ACME anvil… and as horrible as I feel, I have memories… wonderful memories of yesterday with a beautiful daughter and her children… and that makes this morning just a wee bit more bearable.