So, the other night I decided to pretend I didn’t have Fibromyalgia. I know what you’re thinking. How can you forget that you’re in pain? How can you forget the gnawing, aching feelings that last 24/7? How can you forget???
Well, back in my old life of non-Fibro when my oldest daughters were young, I used to sew almost all of their dresses. In fact, I sewed almost everything from curtains to pillows to tablecloths! It was like an outlet for me; A way for me to de-stress and decompress. Even though I had a lot of children running around I often did this late into the evening hours to unwind! I loved it!
That’s why the other night I decided to make one of my daughters a dress. She’s a bit heavier set and loves jumpers! It’s hard for me to find some that fit her so I decided to create my own pattern and make her one. My desire to get this done clouded my proper judgment on how to handle my body and I plunged forward like I used to do.
Needless to say, at 3 a.m. I fell into bed happy, but hurting. At 9 a.m. the next day I awoke to find that the dress fit her and my pattern worked! Yipee!!
What adrenaline I had left kicked in! So, I went downstairs to sew her Christmas dress. While I was in the middle of that my youngest daughter saw what I was doing and told me she would love a matching dress! Well, this was music to my ears and I had just enough fabric to accommodate that request. By 4 p.m. I had sewn two lovely Christmas dresses for my two youngest daughters! The smiles on their faces were worth a thousand pain hours!….
Famous last thoughts as I woke up the next morning and could scarcely move. In fact, I could barely move all day and the demands of motherhood were still upon me; mouths still needed to be fed and life still needed to go on.
By the next day I was pretty much the same-only worse! I tried to rest again by reading quietly to the girls and pace myself and of course those same demands were upon me as they always are! (No complaints here, motherhood is my job…there is no rest for the weary!!)
So what I learned is that I am not the same person I once was! (Did I need convincing?) I can no longer pretend that I don’t have Fibromyalgia. It is a dread disease and one that you cannot ignore try as hard as I do at times.
Do I regret the push through, push through, push through, non-stop sewing spree that I put myself through? Not for the smiles on their faces!
But the pain and fatigue that I put my body through is pretty intense. The repetitious movements of sewing, the bending over the table cutting patterns, the movements if the scissors on my han, the lack of sleep…*big-sigh*
My hope is the flare will be over soon and life can get back to the “new normal” of pacing, resting, and lists. Lots if lists!
Merry Christmas from one Fibro to another!
