Living Daily with Chronic Invisible Illness

Fibro-Fog and Remembering what you Forgot

Fibro-fog is a real battle. It is not necessarily a daily fight for me, but when it does occur, it is quite hard to handle.

As I write this, I am suffering from Fibro-fog. The words just evaporate from my mind faster than I can think them. I feel like I am chasing word rabbits through the muddy fields of my mind. I literally can see the words hop away and I cannot remember what they were.

Trying to have a conversation on days like this can be amusing to the listener as I stutter out my thoughts, but it is a real struggle to my inward self. It makes me realize how bad this battle truly is for me and unfortunately how so out of my control it is for me as well. I find myself becoming more reclused and separated on these days, which I know is not good.

Oh, and forget grocery shopping, returning calls or paying bills on these days. I have tried doing these things when I am having a foggy day and then I don’t remember that I did them.

Or worse-when I thought I did them, only to find out I never did.

In the past three months, I have “forgotten” to pay some bills that I swear I did pay. When I realize that I did not pay them-days later-I get very shaken up because the reality of my situation hits me like a ton of bricks. Then I must face the truth about my health that I often times like to pretend is not really happening.

I have had people phone me on Fibro-fog days and I purposely will not answer the call because I know I won’t remember talking to them. Of course, I won’t remember to call them back, either. It’s a vicious cycle.

This is where Post-it-Notes come into play. My kids gave me a bunch of them at Christmas. I do my best to use them (if I can remember where I put them when I am remembering what I need to write down!). My cabinets are dotted with squares of colored papers. Who to call back, what is needed at the store., etc. I also date them. Days can go by in a sea of endless blur and it will surprise you how these dates multiply quickly.

On days when I am thinking more clearly I will make a list of things I need to do, bills that are due, groceries that need to be bought, etc. I have also found that writing down what I did do helps me to remember what was done. Sounds crazy, but it is my life. There are times when I really don’t remember that I did something and by writing down what I did and the date that I did it, helps me immensely.

In our home-school, I have a list of school oriented things we do on my painful foggy days when the regular routine just won’t work with my brain. Educational videos, worksheet reinforcements and student busy work all help me when my brain cannot follow one train of thought and those rabbits start hopping!

For Fibros, once again, it is all about restructuring this new way of living and trying to create a new version of our old self. We are the ones who have a hard time handling the life change and I am no exception! I battle change regularly as well.

The daily pain struggles of Fibromyalgia are hard enough, but when it is so bad that Fibro-fog kicks in, it makes for rougher sailing through one’s day. When you’re having a painful flare day and Fibro-fog day at the same time, it is almost impossible to survive.

But all of us Fibro-warriors know that flares come and go and so do the foggy days. After all…

Tomorrow is Another Day!

 

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