When I am hurting and in need of rest, oddly, I’ll get a vision of me outside, running very fast. In that vision, I have a desire to run non-stop; to run with all my might as if someone or something is chasing me…Maybe even over-exert my physical form like I am trying to prove something to myself-As if running non-stop, fast and hard I could somehow out-run the pain…
Or maybe run so fast that I leave the pain behind me.
Yes… like running super fast I would somehow break free from the bondage that Fibromyalgia has me in.
The mental vision of me running may be a metaphor of me trying to outrun the pain before it catches me.
I feel this way more often in the winter, probably because I am mostly house bound due to in-climate weather.
Sometimes I want to move really fast like I used to. Sometimes I want to jump rope when I see my girls doing it (and I have…and I can’t). Sometimes I want to ride my Air-dyne bike with all my might and take all my frustrations out on the exercise itself; to try to release all my anxieties and stresses of this dread condition with vigorous exercise. Unfortunately, I am lucky to go two minutes a day without serious joint flares.
Would strenuous exercise make the Fibromyalgia just disappear?
Would it?
Would it be worth trying?
Ah, but I have tried many of these things…many times…and the outcome is always less than favorable, causing excruciating pain as I did it, or soon after, with agonizing and debilitating physical issues for days and days. Sometimes just walking is painful enough.
Trying to prove to myself what I can no longer do is like pouring salt in an open wound.
I walk as often as I can when the weather is pleasant, but those walks cause me pain, not just as I walk, but many times, pain for days.
But I must walk for my overall health.
Yes, I wish I could somehow out-run the pain.
Golly, I just wish I could out-walk the pain. How about out-stand the pain. Now that, my friend, is a pun.
As for my vision, I guess it is more of a yearning to be free from this awful condition.
This is where positive thinking is vital.
So here’s to positive thinking when you feel anything but positive! Knowing I am not alone in this daily fight of chronic pain can be helpful. If you are reading this, you must battle the same thing…
I may not be able to walk well, let alone run, but I am a saved child of God and “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.”
Have a good day, gentle hugs and God bless.
