What is my biggest frustration?? Well, it would be choosing how to use what energy I have to complete the things that need to be done in a day. Especially when there are so many things that need to be done. If I break these down to the bare necessities then I am faced with the challenge of the evening meal. Do I start dinner this morning? Do I put dinner off until this afternoon hoping that I can still make it or will it become a quick meal like sandwiches because my body quit on me before I was ready? Well, my husband deserves better than a sandwich for his Hard Day’s Work and therefore if I choose to start dinner in the morning then that means I cannot lesson plan. (I am a homeschooling mother and summer is my lesson plan time). I have to choose how my energy is better spent. I have to decide what to make for dinner.
Now, I have two whole chickens sitting in the refrigerator. I can season them up, toss them in a crock pot and walk away and then this afternoon make some rice and vegetables and call it good. However, baked chicken is not my husband’s favorite thing. Okay, so do I cook down the chickens all day and make a nice broth and thicken that and boil some pasta and make creamy chicken and noodles? That will work except that I will have to de-bone the chicken after it’s cooked and I don’t know how I’m going to be feeling when that time comes to de-bone it. So then I think maybe I’ll just make individual chicken pot pies! But then, the cloud befalls my mind when I think of all the work involved in that and will I feel like I’m able to do that this afternoon????
So now I’m back to the baked chicken as it will still put out a nice meal for my family and cause me the least effort and hope my husband will still smile while he eats it. This might sound like a random problem…or not even a problem at all, but for those who suffer with Fibromyalgia you know exactly what it is that I’m dealing with. I have always been a planner. I would plan a day to time, then a week at a time, a month at a time, and even a quarter of the year at a time. I had short-term goals and I had long-term goals. My family is large. I home-school. I have to do these things. But now I am literally to the tentative daily plan and “hope” that I can accomplish what I need to do in a given day.
Today I am coming off of the 4th of July holiday. It is also storming. Needless to say, I cancelled my PT appointment for this morning. Both the holiday and the weather are an unfortunate factor for me in getting through a day. So here I sit, writing this down. My immediate goal is what to make for dinner and do I use my energy on that or the lesson plans that I’m supposed to be spending my day working on? The frustrations of Fibromyalgia, there are no words. Well, there are words… But we won’t use those here. Now, where did I say those chickens were???